So I joined 'Tinder'. You might say, for most it is only an App to find an easy opportunity to have sex, but for me, I wasn't looking for that thing. Yes, sometimes things could lead up to this, but isn't it the same way in real life? If you are saying, it is only about how looks and only choosing the ones that are attractive in your eyes, than you are completely right. But this not an argument you use against those who are on the App, just because you think it is superficial.
The thing is, first we always judge people based on their looks and on their body language, because we haven't talked to them. We don't know how they talk and what their deal is, we don't know just by one single look at them what their characteristics are.
It is like an avocado, you don't really know if they are any good by just looking at them. Sometimes they turn out to be just perfect for you guacamole. On the other hand, sometimes they are foul and nothing you are willing to mix with the rest of the ingredients.
I always like to think of 'Tinder' like this giant, virtual bar. Isn't it quite the same, only without the struggle of getting out of conversations and situations you don't want to be in?
You walk past the one's you don't want to talk to and you have this invitation for a conversation with those people you think are just your type.
Matching each other is the first step. When we compare it again to the bar, it is like the looks you give each other and the sly smile that appears on either face. A sign that implies a first liking to the other person. Well, okay I am not here to list down the basic things of flirting, those are all things we already knew. I am just comparing and stating, that in a way you can avoid certain trouble that you get in real life, for example, miss-reading the signals.
Please note, I am not stating it as safer, it just depends on which intentions you have.
A few guys put their aim right from the beginning out there, they don't really want to know you as a person, they just want to have sex with you. How ever, in my experience that happens not that often as you expect it would. A lot of them try to get to know you (even just a little bit) and they want to meet you.
However, before I meet a guy, I want to know a bit more about them. I never make plans with someone I just said hello to. That would be actually the same for me in reality: I don't go with someone, I just met on the streets. Yes, to get in touch, you might exchange a number or an email-adress or something you can connect, but I wouldn't agree immediately on going out together, just after the first message. It is also easier for me on the date itself, because I know already a certain things and I can ask some good questions. It is easier to have a conversation with someone you already know a tiny bit, than a complete stranger. At least it is for me.
I think, especially for shy people like me, Apps like these aren't such a bad thing. It might sound silly, but they helped me to open up a bit more. It gave me a possibility to meet new people, I wouldn't have the chance to meet. Or the guts, to walk up to them and talk to them.
Yes, there will always be a down side of all this, there'll always be some bad experience. But from that experiences you learn, grow and evolve in new, greater things.
You probably won't undergo the same things I did, the stories you write are as unique as you are.
So these are mine, maybe there is someone that can relate to that. However it will not be the same for them as it is for me.
You walk past the one's you don't want to talk to and you have this invitation for a conversation with those people you think are just your type.
Matching each other is the first step. When we compare it again to the bar, it is like the looks you give each other and the sly smile that appears on either face. A sign that implies a first liking to the other person. Well, okay I am not here to list down the basic things of flirting, those are all things we already knew. I am just comparing and stating, that in a way you can avoid certain trouble that you get in real life, for example, miss-reading the signals.
Please note, I am not stating it as safer, it just depends on which intentions you have.
A few guys put their aim right from the beginning out there, they don't really want to know you as a person, they just want to have sex with you. How ever, in my experience that happens not that often as you expect it would. A lot of them try to get to know you (even just a little bit) and they want to meet you.
However, before I meet a guy, I want to know a bit more about them. I never make plans with someone I just said hello to. That would be actually the same for me in reality: I don't go with someone, I just met on the streets. Yes, to get in touch, you might exchange a number or an email-adress or something you can connect, but I wouldn't agree immediately on going out together, just after the first message. It is also easier for me on the date itself, because I know already a certain things and I can ask some good questions. It is easier to have a conversation with someone you already know a tiny bit, than a complete stranger. At least it is for me.
I think, especially for shy people like me, Apps like these aren't such a bad thing. It might sound silly, but they helped me to open up a bit more. It gave me a possibility to meet new people, I wouldn't have the chance to meet. Or the guts, to walk up to them and talk to them.
Yes, there will always be a down side of all this, there'll always be some bad experience. But from that experiences you learn, grow and evolve in new, greater things.
You probably won't undergo the same things I did, the stories you write are as unique as you are.
So these are mine, maybe there is someone that can relate to that. However it will not be the same for them as it is for me.
