Back to school. That is a term so many of us despise because we might just had the summer of our lives. Motivation isn't really there because you know those first days in school are absolute for nothing, because you are just sitting there and EVERY teacher is repeating the rules of the school and saying you what new stuff you need for the new year (or they like to talk about their holidays, which is something do not really want to hear). For me, I haven't either the summer of my life nor did I have much motivation for going to a new school. Even though firstly I was excited to go, as soon as I saw the class list and found out they put me in a class with fifteen year old girls and that in the class wasn't be found one single boy - only 26 girls - my motivation dropped pretty much.
But here I am, nearly four months later, soon it is christmas. The time there at this school wasn't as bad, as I expected it to be but none the less, I am excited for winter vacation which starts this friday.
I really need this holidays, this school takes up a lot of my energy which led me to be sick quiet frequently. It is not just the school work there, the people there I have met slowly drive me crazy. Sometimes I do not know what to say or what to do, to make things right because in the end it seems like all that I do turns out wrong. I am so glad that this is the last week this year I am spending there, I really want to get away and spend my time with things that aren't school related and do again what I love.
Reading
Sleeping
Spending time with my friends
Going to the cinema
Snowboarding
Drawing
Tea
Good food
...
just things that make me forget those challenges I have to face everyday at school, even though it isn't always related to work there I have to keep up with, as I say persons there drive me literally crazy.
In order to keep my mind a little bit of school and those things that happen that place, I am going to blog I little bit over the holidays, because you know, I think I might have time for it again.
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Music Saturday - Playlist October
It has been a long time since I have written something about music and I have been listening to a bunch of new music this past month, after I have been to the local music festival here in Zurich where I discovered some new Artists and people I met there introduced and recommended some new things I really should listen to.
So basically this is just another playlist that I put together for this month and September so here we go:
(Alt-J isn't actually THAT new to me(that much of a hipster am I), but that last week I bought myself their CD and I cannot stop listening to them)
POLICA - Dark Star
MILES KANE - Don't forget who you are
SOHN - Bloodflows
SLOW CLUB - Two Cousins + Beginners
LORDE - Tennis Court
DILLON - Thirteen Thirtyfive
LOCAL NATIVES - You & I
PHOENIX - Lisztomania + Love like a Sunset
(Well Isn't that matching: I am a lisztomaniac ha-ha)
JAKE BUGG - Seen It All
Monday, 14 October 2013
Sunday, 13 October 2013
BLACK
It is strange how fast things can change, turn from good to bad:
Once again I find myself after a short great time in that black hole again, where I feel empty and sad. I do not even know why, just yesterday I had one of those really good times, I fell in love all over again. But now, not even twenty-four hours later, everything seems impossible to cope with. And in times like these, where I just need somebody to listen, not a soul seem to have time to sit down for a little chat. It would help a lot, writing down doesn't do it for a long time, it's only a short time relief.
Yesterday, I told myself that I would stop with the bad habits that are destroying myself, because I felt on top of the world and I though I could do it. But here I am, breaking the promises I made myself, listening to sad songs.
Why does it seem like that the good times only last a short time and the bad times come around much more often?
Once again I find myself after a short great time in that black hole again, where I feel empty and sad. I do not even know why, just yesterday I had one of those really good times, I fell in love all over again. But now, not even twenty-four hours later, everything seems impossible to cope with. And in times like these, where I just need somebody to listen, not a soul seem to have time to sit down for a little chat. It would help a lot, writing down doesn't do it for a long time, it's only a short time relief.
Yesterday, I told myself that I would stop with the bad habits that are destroying myself, because I felt on top of the world and I though I could do it. But here I am, breaking the promises I made myself, listening to sad songs.
Why does it seem like that the good times only last a short time and the bad times come around much more often?
Wednesday, 18 September 2013
Spark
"Do I start at the end or do I end at the start?"
I am always wondering if people do understand what the word 'creativity' really means. Because being creative isn't only meant for art or writing. You can be creative in so many ways, in music, in cooking, yes even in daydreaming and talking to people. As long as you try out new things, invent yourself everyday new, every activity that you like to do can be creative.
It's sad that people use that term only for a tinny section of their life, even though creativity comes from create
to create something new
something that was your idea
an idea formed in your thoughts
and your mind is something
nobody else out there can steal from you.
I believe that everyone has a spark of creativity in their heart, no matter what they do. It is something that makes us human and unique and every person, different by their looks and characters is in his own way creative. Sometimes you have to dig a long time in the dirt before you find your thing or even sometimes you do not even realise it has been he whole time in front of you. Find something that you love to do, even if it takes a long time to get there: I did two extra years of education, do I regret it? No, I have found my way, I found what I like to do and who I want to be.
It's not a shame to take the long way around, in the end you might have seen a lot more and you made so many new experiences that you might not have made if you had took the short cut.
Just do not give up too early, because when you do, you might give up on you life.
Friday, 6 September 2013
Shell
These days this blog is more and more becoming my personal space and it almost feels as if this is my weekly diary. And I am getting more and more fond of that idea, that I share a bit more from my life and open up a bit, even though it is just on the internet.
When I am thinking back, a year ago, the hardest thing for me was to talk to some random strangers. I was so scared that I would say something terribly wrong, that they would leave because they didn't like me. Eventually most of them did, only those who could break through my shell and got to me close, those are people I call friends now these days.
But now after a really eventful year and some incredible persons I have met, I learn slowly to open up a bit more and let them into my life. Just when I am looking back on the past weekend, where I met so many lovely people at the local music festival (gonna write about that soon!) I noticed it gets more and more easier the older you get. Oh gosh. I sound like a grand-ma, who's sitting in her chair on her porch.
Anyways what I mean, I learned a lot from experiences and I had to learn that you often do not have to care about what people think of you, unless they are really important to you. In that case they know you well enough and love you for who you are (I am repeating me here) and I hopefully think the only want the best for you. I know 'loosing' yourself can be scary and a long process but in the end you might have made some awesome memories. For me, I still have a long way to go until I let most of my walls down. Most of the days, I tell myself "You have nothing to loose" if I want to try out something new or something that I might not be brave enough and it helps me to get those things done. Sometimes it just might be something silly like getting a phone number or giving a hug to person you barely know. Those little things can make your day in the end 1000 times better.
Do things while you have the chance to, because maybe one day it is too late to realize your dreams.
When I am thinking back, a year ago, the hardest thing for me was to talk to some random strangers. I was so scared that I would say something terribly wrong, that they would leave because they didn't like me. Eventually most of them did, only those who could break through my shell and got to me close, those are people I call friends now these days.
But now after a really eventful year and some incredible persons I have met, I learn slowly to open up a bit more and let them into my life. Just when I am looking back on the past weekend, where I met so many lovely people at the local music festival (gonna write about that soon!) I noticed it gets more and more easier the older you get. Oh gosh. I sound like a grand-ma, who's sitting in her chair on her porch.
Anyways what I mean, I learned a lot from experiences and I had to learn that you often do not have to care about what people think of you, unless they are really important to you. In that case they know you well enough and love you for who you are (I am repeating me here) and I hopefully think the only want the best for you. I know 'loosing' yourself can be scary and a long process but in the end you might have made some awesome memories. For me, I still have a long way to go until I let most of my walls down. Most of the days, I tell myself "You have nothing to loose" if I want to try out something new or something that I might not be brave enough and it helps me to get those things done. Sometimes it just might be something silly like getting a phone number or giving a hug to person you barely know. Those little things can make your day in the end 1000 times better.
Do things while you have the chance to, because maybe one day it is too late to realize your dreams.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Friendship.
The last few days I met a lot of new people and I think I found some new friends. I already knew someone out of my class before and we really got to know each other the last couple of weeks and I love her to pieces. If I am honest, I lost contact with her (we went to school together once) and it is amazing how people find each other again, after not hearing from either one for more than a year.
Anyways, the last couple of days, I thought a lot about friendship and what it means to have a good, functional friendship. Sometimes friendship needs the same amount of attention like a relationship does. Mostly because it is some sort of relationship, just with friends and you haven't got a real commitment to them. That isn't in every friendship the case, even most of them are easy and you give and take without you even knowing. Some friendships come with a huge amount of commitment (that shouldn't really be there, as I said before) and dedication, just because you like them a lot and you want to befriended with them it doesn't mean it is easy. Some people need a lot of time until they open up to you and you really get to know them. Mostly, those are the (drunk) late night talks you have to them, when they feel secure. I have to admit, I am not an easy person to be a friend of, sometimes I can give some people a really hard time, maybe because I do not know how to handle the situation or I do not want to open up to them.
Lately, when I talked to my friend (who goes to school with me now) over a gin-tonic about how we all have bad side to us and what we think is ours. And I said that I hate it when someone invades my personal space, someone I do not really know is touching me or want to hug me. That I something I really do not like about myself, because in the end I think I push people away with my behaviour, I should be more open minded. I do not mean with that I should let people easily get into my life, I just think that I should lower my walls a little bit more. With people I barely know, I normally do not share any personal things out of my life. Except, I feel comfortable with, which happened with the very true friends I still have by side.
But as such talks go on, you learn that the friend that really know, live with all you faults and how you do not like yourself how you are; they accept you, sometimes more than you ever will accept yourself.
Anyways, the last couple of days, I thought a lot about friendship and what it means to have a good, functional friendship. Sometimes friendship needs the same amount of attention like a relationship does. Mostly because it is some sort of relationship, just with friends and you haven't got a real commitment to them. That isn't in every friendship the case, even most of them are easy and you give and take without you even knowing. Some friendships come with a huge amount of commitment (that shouldn't really be there, as I said before) and dedication, just because you like them a lot and you want to befriended with them it doesn't mean it is easy. Some people need a lot of time until they open up to you and you really get to know them. Mostly, those are the (drunk) late night talks you have to them, when they feel secure. I have to admit, I am not an easy person to be a friend of, sometimes I can give some people a really hard time, maybe because I do not know how to handle the situation or I do not want to open up to them.
Lately, when I talked to my friend (who goes to school with me now) over a gin-tonic about how we all have bad side to us and what we think is ours. And I said that I hate it when someone invades my personal space, someone I do not really know is touching me or want to hug me. That I something I really do not like about myself, because in the end I think I push people away with my behaviour, I should be more open minded. I do not mean with that I should let people easily get into my life, I just think that I should lower my walls a little bit more. With people I barely know, I normally do not share any personal things out of my life. Except, I feel comfortable with, which happened with the very true friends I still have by side.
But as such talks go on, you learn that the friend that really know, live with all you faults and how you do not like yourself how you are; they accept you, sometimes more than you ever will accept yourself.
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