IT HAS BEEN A YEAR

A lot has happened this past year, since I have last written on this blog. It has been a year where I haven't been able to write, to draw or to do anything creative, really.

I have fallen in and out of love so many times, I have had my heartbroken (and I swear it still hurts sometimes. Probably it will never stop, it will just get easier with time. Like they say, time does not heal everything, it just helps you to cope), got diagnosed with depression and an other mental disorder (with is not severe, but it is still there) and I am about to change school AGAIN. Not my goals have changed, only the path to get there took another turn.
All in all, many up's and down's. Probably I have cried more than I've laughed and slept. That's another thing I am still struggling with; Insomnia will never let me in peace. There have been weeks where I could sleep like a baby, but sleeplessness always comes back at me. What ever.
How ever, that's all okay now, I know how to cope and how to handle things. Still, sometimes it is very rough and everything seems hopeless, but there will be always better times and I know I am not alone in this. I have so much support from my family and from my wonderful friends.
They remind me who I am, in times I cannot recognise myself anymore.
There are many things to be happy about rather than be sad.
Maybe there is always a reason to give up, but there will be thousand more not to, and to keep on fighting.
The best is still to come. 
I am back. 

ALOHA

I am back! Probably saying this a lot on here but I needed a break from everything. Back in the old year I was feeling not too good myself, I had not only health issues, also a lot on my mind and my thoughts didn't let me be happy for a long time. How ever I am better now, haven't felt this good about myself for a long time. Maybe this only because spring is slowly arriving and the sun is pushing everything in a better light.
So with this new year and a new me, I decided I want to something else on here. Well not something completely new, I just decided that I wanted to write more about something that I always feel writing about; Music.
That is just something that I am comfortable sharing my experiences with, even though there have been times that bad things happened at concerts, like falling unconscious at a Arctic Monkeys show or songs that remind me of sad times. But isn't this also a good thing? Doesn't it also remind you that you are better off now than that you were before?
For me music is nearly everything, I've met my best friend at a music festival and some of my best memories are connected to a song or an event that had to do with music, like a concert or lying in the gras under the starlights.
Well, I won't say this blog is going to be just about music, there will be always things that I want to talk about and that cannot be left unsaid. It is just something that takes a big part up of my life, so I want share with others.
I think that's it, for now. I think I will be back soon, next month is a lot going on!

Oh and for getting into the friday mood, a song from a support act from last week's concert I went to;

Juliet - James Hersey

___________________________

BYE 

00:00 AM

A new day begins,

a new start for everything, 

maybe the start for the best day of your life.

You just have to get up and try your best

to make it one of those days 

you will remember forever. 

School

Back to school. That is a term so many of us despise because we might just had the summer of our lives. Motivation isn't really there because you know those first days in school are absolute for nothing, because you are just sitting there and EVERY teacher is repeating the rules of the school and saying you what new stuff you need for the new year (or they like to talk about their holidays, which is something do not really want to hear). For me, I haven't either the summer of my life nor did I have much motivation for going to a new school. Even though firstly I was excited to go, as soon as I saw the class list and found out they put me in a class with  fifteen year old girls and that in the class wasn't be found one single boy - only 26 girls - my motivation dropped pretty much.

But here I am, nearly four months later, soon it is christmas. The time there at this school wasn't as bad, as I expected it to be but none the less, I am excited for winter vacation which starts this friday.
I really need this holidays, this school takes up a lot of my energy which led me to be sick quiet frequently. It is not just the school work there, the people there I have met slowly drive me crazy. Sometimes I do not know what to say or what to do, to make things right because in the end it seems like all that I do turns out wrong. I am so glad that this is the last week this year I am spending there, I really want to get away and spend my time with things that aren't school related and do again what I love.

Reading
Sleeping
Spending time with my friends
Going to the cinema
Snowboarding
Drawing
Tea
Good food
...
just things that make me forget those challenges I have to face everyday at school, even though it isn't always related to work there I have to keep up with, as I say persons there drive me literally crazy.

In order to keep my mind a little bit of school and those things that happen that place, I am going to blog I little bit over the holidays, because you know, I think I might have time for it again.

Music Saturday - Playlist October

It has been a long time since I have written something about music and I have been listening to a bunch of new music this past month, after I have been to the local music festival here in Zurich where I discovered some new Artists and people I met there introduced and recommended some new things I really should listen to.

So basically this is just another playlist that I put together for this month and September so here we go:

ALT-J - Intro  + Taro

(Alt-J isn't actually THAT new to me(that much of a hipster am I), but that last week I bought myself their CD and I cannot stop listening to them)

POLICA - Dark Star 

MILES KANE - Don't forget who you are 

SWIM DEEP - Intro + The Sea

SOHN - Bloodflows

SLOW CLUB - Two Cousins + Beginners 

LORDE - Tennis Court 

DILLON - Thirteen Thirtyfive 

LOCAL NATIVES - You & I 

PHOENIX - Lisztomania + Love like a Sunset

(Well Isn't that matching: I am a lisztomaniac ha-ha)

JAKE BUGG - Seen It All 

Why do I find myself
In a place like this
hopeless
alone
sad
Everything here reminds me
of a place
far back in time
Melancholia
wraps its cold fingers
again
around my trembling body.

BLACK

It is strange how fast things can change, turn from good to bad:
Once again I find myself after a short great time in that black hole again, where I feel empty and sad. I do not even know why, just yesterday I had one of those really good times, I fell in love all over again. But now, not even twenty-four hours later, everything seems impossible to cope with. And in times like these, where I just need somebody to listen, not a soul seem to have time to sit down for a little chat. It would help a lot, writing down doesn't do it for a long time, it's only a short time relief.
Yesterday, I told myself that I would stop with the bad habits that are destroying myself, because I felt on top of the world and I though I could do it. But here I am, breaking the promises I made myself, listening to sad songs.

Why does it seem like that the good times only last a short time and the bad times come around much more often?