The last few days I met a lot of new people and I think I found some new friends. I already knew someone out of my class before and we really got to know each other the last couple of weeks and I love her to pieces. If I am honest, I lost contact with her (we went to school together once) and it is amazing how people find each other again, after not hearing from either one for more than a year.
Anyways, the last couple of days, I thought a lot about friendship and what it means to have a good, functional friendship. Sometimes friendship needs the same amount of attention like a relationship does. Mostly because it is some sort of relationship, just with friends and you haven't got a real commitment to them. That isn't in every friendship the case, even most of them are easy and you give and take without you even knowing. Some friendships come with a huge amount of commitment (that shouldn't really be there, as I said before) and dedication, just because you like them a lot and you want to befriended with them it doesn't mean it is easy. Some people need a lot of time until they open up to you and you really get to know them. Mostly, those are the (drunk) late night talks you have to them, when they feel secure. I have to admit, I am not an easy person to be a friend of, sometimes I can give some people a really hard time, maybe because I do not know how to handle the situation or I do not want to open up to them.
Lately, when I talked to my friend (who goes to school with me now) over a gin-tonic about how we all have bad side to us and what we think is ours. And I said that I hate it when someone invades my personal space, someone I do not really know is touching me or want to hug me. That I something I really do not like about myself, because in the end I think I push people away with my behaviour, I should be more open minded. I do not mean with that I should let people easily get into my life, I just think that I should lower my walls a little bit more. With people I barely know, I normally do not share any personal things out of my life. Except, I feel comfortable with, which happened with the very true friends I still have by side.
But as such talks go on, you learn that the friend that really know, live with all you faults and how you do not like yourself how you are; they accept you, sometimes more than you ever will accept yourself.
