I am turning eighteen in about forty-nine hours for crying out loud. I makes me so nervous to know that I am going to be an adult in so little time and it scares me. With every second the date of my birth gets nearer also my nervousness grows in my chest. I do not know if I should be excited or if I should be wishing for a little bit more time before I am a grown-up. Not mentally, hell no, sometimes I wish I could be forever six-teen, because when I look back to the time I was sixteen, those have been the easiest days in my life.
And now that it is coming to my eighteenth birthday, I realise once more how difficult and stressful it can be having divorced parents. I want to see them both for my birthday, but my dad is not at home as well not over the weekend, which leaves only thursday night for having dinner together. And that leaves only friday noon for my mother to celebrate with me, because in the evening I am out with some friends of mine. Well I said my dad wouldn't be around over the weekend: It could be cool having the home all to myself, for having a party, but tonight I made another realisation: It actually sucks to have your birthday in mid-july: The most part of the friends I wanted to invite are away in just some exotic place, chilling out in the sun at the beach.
And this whole situation of organising a party and handling my birthday, is stressing me out so much, I feel I am getting sick. Not only mentally, physically as well. I am always tired even if I did sleep for over ten hours and I feel my throat is hurting again.
This probably all a big mistake, because I am already whining about on my blog and this so not going to be fun for me. Why should I be positive about a thing that leaves me so unhappy before it actually happened?
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